hey dad

xxmyxruinsxx @ 2007-12-24T02:26:00

2007-12-23T18:30:35Z

Im moving because this journal stinks
mas_cara

xxmyxruinsxx @ 2007-12-23T03:13:00

2007-12-22T19:17:45Z

xxmyxruinsxx @ 2007-12-16T00:43:00

2007-12-15T16:40:52Z

Im so sad I have a crooked back.

xxmyxruinsxx @ 2007-12-13T23:31:00

2007-12-13T15:33:31Z

I feel like I am living in my own world of pefection. Noone around me values moral anymore, should I still continue to be as such? An upright person, my life being guided by these rules which I willingly follow. The society do not care about how kind you are or how nice your are anymore. It will only take advantage of you and eat you up. I used to not believe this until I have experienced it. Too many people cheat, too many people lie, too many people only care about their own importance. Who can you trust? Can you even trust yourself?

xxmyxruinsxx @ 2007-11-17T14:22:00

2007-11-17T06:33:59Z

This week has been very stressful and busy. Been feeling down. I did not realise that I have grown much thinner over the few months (according to what jas, lai and ty said). They say sometimes from a far I look like a stick now, last time I still have some meat. I guess that's great, but it also kind of hit me with a big bang. Did it affect me that much? Some little things from the past are still affecting me, but oh well. I have been skipping lots of classes. I do not even know what my attendance is like now, especially for GEMS. I have an assignment due on Friday which I know nothing about. I look at my planner, and damn so much more project deadlines coming up.

Been trying to keep myself busy. I feel like a piece of little shit when I stay at home. My mother is going China tonight at 4am for ten days. I am having a little conflict with her. Because I wanted to work at a cheongsam shop to keep myself busy and she was making all sorts of noises. Whatever, I just hope she goes to China without having this burden of me not talking to her on her back. I still don't feel well enough to talk to her. Yesterday she saw me at the train station and she called out to me and I ignored her, then when she reached home, she called me and ask me why did I ignore her. I also don't feel good doing that. I guess I shall go to sleep now, and hopefully the boss don't call me to go for training today.

xxmyxruinsxx @ 2007-10-08T23:41:00

2007-10-08T15:53:46Z

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Skipped language class today. I will have to make it a point that I return home every Monday and nap for 2 hours and go back to school again so that I will have energy. Sorry Eve for skipping. Next week we shall invade Clementi Macdonalds and the hotties.

Tomorrow is Tuesday. I fucking hate Tuesdays. Long day at school. Plus its neither mid week, end week or starting week. It just hangs nowhere.

xxmyxruinsxx @ 2007-10-06T22:56:00

2007-10-06T15:00:07Z

Saturdays have officially become my "stay home day". Except when there are last minute clubbing plans. But really....I've been out for the whole week. I think there should be a day when I stay home and rest. Clear my room, bath dogs, spend time with mother though we barely talk. I feel really exhausted...I have been to at least 1 ice cream parlour for the past week. Ice cream has become the new alcohol. I also plan to work out. I want to have Maggi Q's body!!! It is scary how cunning people can be. My present circle of friends is nice, sincere, sweet, innocent. Stepping outside the circle, I see the real world. Smart, cunning, only think of ownself. Scary ainnit? I don't want to grow up :(

If we were really meant to be, we will meet again.

2007-10-02T14:41:09Z

Been feeling so relaxed, a feeling which I didnt' have for months. I nearly forgot how freedom feels like. It was stolen from someone but he doesn't know it, and now I picked up my courage to take it back. It's funny how the difference of one significant person makes a big difference in your life.

Tuesday is the longest day of the week. Firstly it is the second day of the week, therefore I feel like I'm being hung in midair. Secondly, school is from 9-5. Brainwashed by lectures. Big nono. And by the time we can finally go home, the train is full of working people.

Today, dear Enna and Juice said I have the "mistress"" and "player" look. The kind of "i can play with you but i just don't want any status". What the hell! So not true! I agree if I don't like you but you have the x factor, I can still go out with you for fun. If I don't like you and you dont have the x factor, forget it. But really, love is undefinable. Anyone who really loves someone will just settle down.

I like a romantic guy. The kind of guys whose words alone turns me on. Like I asked him why he works till so late. And he just said "I just want to keep my salary to pay my internet bill to chat with you :)" AWWWWWWWW imagine w that french accent. i was shining inside. Thursday yes/no?

xxmyxruinsxx @ 2007-10-02T01:25:00

2007-10-01T17:24:41Z

Today is a good day. Week started off pretty relaxingly. Went to German with Eve. Then went to Mac. SO MANY HOTTIES. And we were trying to give them the eye and then lower our eyes to the seat beside us. And it worked. HAHAHA. 2 hotties come, 2 hotties sat beside us. BWJBRWBWE KEWL DAY! MSN WAS GREAT TOO! gosh who blogs abt msn....I guess I feel happier and more relaxed these few days because I feel like the old me again. Happy by myself, dont think about relationships or emotions. I like it

xxmyxruinsxx @ 2007-09-29T15:58:00

2007-09-29T07:57:10Z

You could buy me diamonds, you could buy me pearls
Take me on a cruise around the world
Baby you know I'm worth it
Dinner lit by candles, run my bubble bath
Make love tenderly to last and last
Baby you know I'm worth it
Wanna please wanna keep wanna treat your woman right
Not just told but to show that you know she is worth your time
You will lose if you choose to refuse to put her first
She will if she can't find a man who knows her worth, mhmn

Cuz a real man knows a real woman when he sees her
And a real woman knows a real man ain't afraid to please her
And a real woman knows a real man always comes first
And a real man just can't deny a woman's worth

If you treat me fairly I'll give you all my goods
Treat you like a real woman should
Baby I know you're worth it
If you never play me, promise not to bluff
I'll hold you down when shit gets rough
Baby I know you're worth it
She rolls the mile makes you smile all the while being true
Don't take for granted the passion that she has for you
You will lose if you choose to refuse to put her first
She will if she can't find a man who knows her worth, oh

Cuz a real man knows a real woman when he sees her
And a real woman knows a real man ain't afraid to please her
And a real woman knows a real man always comes first
And a real man just can't deny a woman's worth

No need to read between the lines, spell it out for you
Just hear this song cuz you can't go wrong when you value
A woman, woman, woman, a woman's worth

Cuz a real man knows a real woman when he sees her
And a real woman knows a real man ain't afraid to please her
And a real woman knows a real man always comes first
And a real man just can't deny a woman's worth

Cuz a real man knows a real woman when he sees her
And a real woman knows a real man ain't afraid to please her
And a real woman knows a real man always comes first
And a real man just can't deny a woman's worth

Mhmn mhmn mhmn mhmn mhmn mhmn….

YES HE WILL FIND ME

xxmyxruinsxx @ 2007-09-29T15:04:00

2007-09-29T07:04:20Z

Out of a sudden I feel so betrayed and cheated. Sometimes, I think that I am wrong. Sometimes, I think that I am not.

xxmyxruinsxx @ 2007-09-29T11:53:00

2007-09-29T03:53:42Z

woke up early today. u know wth. if you wanna read my life just read about it i dont fucking care. i am not even bothered to lock up anything actually. if everyone has to lock this and lock that and be secretive, might as well die because there is no freedom. and I......am freedom girl. ahahhaahhaha. my hair itches, not like you care. i wanna shower and set off for my day but me too lazy. argghhhh

xxmyxruinsxx @ 2007-09-29T11:45:00

2007-09-29T03:43:49Z

holy shit wth when i type my email in yahoo, this journal shows! im locking this shit.

xxmyxruinsxx @ 2007-09-28T23:19:00

2007-09-28T16:17:20Z

This week passed by pretty quickly. On Wednesday, Enna and me went clubbing on a school night. Haha so funny. Reached home at around 3am and woke up at 9am. Quite an accomplishment. Today, we celebrated Juice's Bday at Bukit Timah! Goddamn at the exact same row of restaurants me and my ex-sweetheart had the last lunch. Bukit Timah just brings back so much memories. But Im moving on pretty well!

Happy 19th Bday GIRL!

xxmyxruinsxx @ 2007-09-25T20:50:00

2007-09-25T13:11:00Z

Today, I am ultra ultra super super pissed by a so,eone. I went to nap for 2 hours, woke up and thought I would forget about it but NO! Still thinking about it. Not that I am petty or what, but I totally hate it when people insult my image making me sound like a cheapass whore and most importantly, insult someone I know!. Arghhh wow why am I protecting an asshole. Its the power of love I tell you.

School's still pretty good. Keeping me busy yup yup. Moving me on faster than ever! But soon I will detest it, when the projects start rolling in.

xxmyxruinsxx @ 2007-09-24T19:55:00

2007-09-24T12:02:32Z

I just finished watching VMA07. I know its slow but come on I only have MTV ASIA. I am officially in love with Chris Brown.

I finally found another indecisive partner hehe. Jolene Yuan now I found someone in DMC who takes same GEMS as me! :P

I can keep this lifestyle going. As long as I keep myself busy. And everybody moves on. I don't see anyone dying of a heart break.

xxmyxruinsxx @ 2007-09-24T00:13:00

2007-09-23T16:22:27Z

Went clubbing last night. It's been a month you know! Had so much fun dancing 3 hours straight on the podium with V. Even the DJ started handing us Moet and fan and plain water and so many people were watching. They should pay us...

Today went to watch I Pronounce You Chuck And Larry. Its a nice show. About gays and its funny.

School starts tomorrow! I LOVE SCHOOL ITS MY LIFE!

xxmyxruinsxx @ 2007-09-22T22:31:00

2007-09-22T14:39:56Z

When school starts on Monday, everything will be a new beginning. I will be looking forward to my GEMS class which I will take alone. Val said all the people there will be the same like me, undecisive. Hahaha because the module is "decision making in daily life". Took that because I can't seem to make a decision!

Today went to meet my daddy. Had minced pork noodle for dinner then we went to Geyland. The China prostitutes, some were really really young and pretty. What a waste! Having to fuck over 50 years old grandpas. Pity their life...I should treasure mine. Hung out with his friend. They both were talking about adult stuffs, asking me to study, asking me if I know why there are so many Chinese immigrants in Singapore, telling me about the illegal stuffs they do....I like it! I like older male conversation! Definitely not older female though...would be talking about menopause and cellulites.

Hmmm want to go on a holiday soon. Was thinking of Phuket :)

xxmyxruinsxx @ 2007-09-20T00:24:00

2007-09-19T16:25:25Z

i totally love it when you wipe the vegetable off my mouth with your fingers!

thighs too.

This week is the last week of holidays :(

2007-09-18T16:14:21Z

Couple of good things, couple of bad things.

I am taking Decision Making In Daily Life on Fridays alone :( sucksucksuck. I have to make new friends. I dont want to do that hahaha. So now I am eyeing SAS like a hawk to see if Techniques For Creativity is available so I can take with Tyris. So if you know who is taking decision making please tell me!

And yesterday I went JB with my mother and auntie. And then at the immigration back to Singapore, the police stopped my mother for bringing chicken in. So mean :( my mother details were recorded down.

Today woke up early to have lunch with TJ. So nice :) Was so damn tired though coz I only slept for 3 and a half hour previous night. Then had a photoshoot with Jeremy at Cityhall. Then went to meet Frost for drinks and dinner. Haha doesn't it feel good to not pay for anything!

xxmyxruinsxx @ 2007-09-15T03:54:00

2007-09-14T19:59:17Z

I realised I have loads of bodyshop stuffs. Well it seem loads to me because I never had so many beauty products from the same brand. But the funny thing is that today is the first time I bought myself a bodyshop product, a new blusher because I dropped mine in Sasa and it splattered all over the floor but the salesgirl was nice to clean it up. I have a butter cream and small bottle of bodyfoam (thanks to elizabeth xmas 3 years ago), eyebrow powder (thanks to sarah 3 years ago), honeydew lip balm (thanks to moms friend), makeup remover (thanks to jiesi :P), cherry lipbalm (thanks to valerie), soap and bodyfoam and perfume and makeup bag (thanks to ty jas and lai for 2007 bday). I feel loved out of a sudden hahaha

dont say my english sucks again la

2007-09-09T16:44:38Z

Is looks everything?
Are people that cruel with their intentions?
Too selfish perhaps?
Do feelings not overcome everything else?
And does it fade that fast?

Saturday was spent lazily by the shallow pool and in the jacuzzi with water that smells like chicken soup because there was a kid in it before. Then played The Game Of Life while eating Macdonalds delivery, an idiotic game called Twister and another more idiotic rabbit game on the X Box. Then took a cab to town to take a midnight bus home. Went to meet TJ at 2am. Pretty sick of driving around damn late.

xxmyxruinsxx @ 2007-09-07T14:38:00

2007-09-07T06:36:41Z

*peeks at my pevious entry*
shit my english sucks. i dont give a shit ok. im talking on msn.
*runs and hides*

xxmyxruinsxx @ 2007-09-07T14:25:00

2007-09-07T06:33:44Z

I dont get it! Why everyone is working except me....It's not like my family is richer than yours (single parented), its not like I spend more than you (mala hayati or valerie), in fact I've been much more holidays than most in a year (with exceptional for Alwyn, btw that cost lots of money Kl & BKK), my mom is always complaining I spend too much (which is indeed very little coz the most amount of money she will spend for a top is $9.90) when Im with her and she always buys me all the budget stuffs. And everyone else has to work except me. Is there something wrong with me?!

xxmyxruinsxx @ 2007-09-05T02:01:00

2007-09-04T18:02:45Z

Hinted to the man that I wanted to go Malaysia for a holiday. His reply was "see how". SEE HOW? That means it is impossible! :'( I wanna go on a holiday!!! I WANT I WANT. ok shut up.

Oh my god yes mala the new click five lead is so hot!!!! I love the video of "Jenny" too.

I also watched 1408. Typical Stephen King's psycho thriller.